Another Oscars ceremony has lumbered by, and you know what that means—the Screeners have been at their microphones for a whole year! Cue the confetti and cocaine...what? No cocaine? What kind of party is this, anyway? We’ll never get the stock brokers to show up now!
Let’s see—1 year, 18 episodes...that means we’re doing at least twice as much of this as Downton Abbey, right? And practice makes perfect, so take that, England.
From Fresh Wounds to Ancient History
We start off this episode’s Jump Cuts by taking a little more time on something we only mentioned in passing last episode: Our memories of Philip Seymour Hoffman. Each Screener recaps their favorite Hoffman roles, and the diversity of genre and tone in the movies that have stuck in everyone’s hearts is a testament to Hoffman’s range and screen presence.
Next up, an opinion piece from the LA Times dares to go against the grain of popular culture and call out House of Cards as everything that’s wrong with Netflix culture. Apparently the show has no redeeming qualities, and the only reason anyone likes it is because they’ve binge-watched it and are practically comatose by the end of the season. This should be a fun discussion.
Hey, did you hear they remade RoboCop? Yeah; it’s out in theaters and everything. Some of the Screeners saw it, and some didn’t, but it might surprise you to learn which Screeners were in each camp (spoiler alert: no, it won’t). Turns out there might be a conversation to be had, though, so it’s probably worth the 180-ish seconds of your time to listen to this one.
Finally, if we haven’t already courted enough controversy this episode, let’s talk about the Bible a bit. Specifically, let’s talk about Darren Aronofsky’s rendition of Noah. Turns out the studio’s recut version tested horribly, so in a rare reversal, Paramount gave final cut control back to Aronofsky. Since the movie’s a little more...artistic this way, though, they’ve decided to aim for fundamentalist appeasement by adding a disclaimer to their marketing materials. Good idea, or bad idea?
Everything is Awesome! Except That One Thing...Just Kidding; It was Awesome Too!
After years of teasing us—umm, we mean our younger relatives and neighbors’ children—with video games starring animated Lego figurines that did nothing more than grunt in excitement and growl in frustration, the powers that be have finally deigned to give us a full-length Lego movie, complete with voice acting and everything.
Can the Screeners really be won over by a PG-rated animated movie whose only claims to fame are obsessive devotion to the real-life mobility limitations of Lego figurines, great voice acting, and solid humor? Let’s find out.
Oh Yeah...This Also Happened
You thought we’d forgotten about the Oscars, didn’t you? Well, we tried, but when something takes place over as significant a portion of your lifetime as Academy Awards ceremonies do, it’s difficult to forget, try though you may.
Anyway, what happened again? Ah, yes; some people won awards; other people couldn’t read teleprompters, and the ceremony ran so long that the host ordered pizza for the audience.
The Screeners, however, are contractually obligated to have opinions about the Oscars, though, so here we go. We really have to renegotiate our deals next year…
And that does it for this episode. If you want to say Happy Birthday or tell us how old we’re looking these days, drop us a comment here or over on Facebook; see you next time!