It’s that time of year again—the Golden Globes just happened (by now, even Josh knows about them), and the Oscars are just around the corner. It’s the perfect time for the Screeners to observe an annual tradition of looking back at last year in the theater, reminiscing about all the good times, and also doing what the Academies and Associations don’t have the guts for: naming the year’s biggest wastes of film (“waste of hard drive space” just doesn’t have the same ring to it…).
Of course, the biggest event on the podcast last year was the addition of a new host, so we’re going to need all the time we can get if we’re going to make it through 5 top ten lists and everything else, so no pretend lightning round this time. Sorrynotsorry.
As you might have guessed, though, we’re not going to spoil the Screeners’ lists here in writing for just anyone to see. Instead, since campaign season is in full swing, we’re going to invoke another modern tradition and provide you with a simple quiz so you can determine which Screener’s choices you agree with. Those political ones take forever, though; ain’t nobody got time to fill out a 20-item questionnaire just to find out who they think should run the country. This quiz is short, simple, and gets the job done: 1 multiple-choice question, and you’re good to go:
I’ve seen way too many movies this year. I might need more than 10 slots.
My visual cortex is my brain’s primary source of dopamine. (Pretty pictures excite me. Deal with it.)
I don’t have to be right—I don’t even want to be right. I just want everyone to get along. WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?
I’ve seen way too many movies and my favorite movie of the year is a foreign film because my tastes are just more refined than yours.
I only value one aspect of cinema, and the market has been telling me for years that it’s the wrong thing. If I were an objectivist, I’d have revised my morals long ago.
Now here’s the catch: we’re not going to give you an answer key to let you know who your match is. Either you know the Screeners well enough that you can pick them out of that lineup (in which case you probably want to listen to the episode anyway), or you don’t know them that well, so you’ll have to listen to find out. Either way...gotcha.
As always, head over to Facebook to tell us who was wrong. That’s a better motivator than asking you to tell us who was right, right? See? We can learn something from Donald Trump!