Another month, another Marvel movie. They’re a machine at this point—the kind of machine they keep at the US Mint. They say money doesn’t grow on trees, but they clearly haven’t seen the trees on the Marvel Studios lot.
But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Before we go all Confederateless Civil War on you, we have a single Jump Cut to kick off this episode. Your Facebook feed may or may not have recently been bombarded with ads for a new twist on video streaming lately—if not, the Screeners here to fill you in. VidAngel is a service that claims to rent SD movies (those are still a thing?) for $1 and the HD version for $2, with the added bonus that you can edit them to your heart’s content to remove anything you find objectionable.
Is this a good idea? Is it legal? Would anyone consider using something like this? All these questions and more will be...well, they’ll at least be mentioned in our longest Jump Cut ever.
No Thor, but We’ll Always Have Hawkeye
OK, main event time. They thought about waiting until it came out on VidAngel so we could edit out all its gratuitous violence and at least 3 potty words, but the Screeners just couldn’t wait to see Captain America: Civil War. So, first question: is this a Captain America movie or an Avengers movie? Does anyone really know? We sure don’t.
It’s definitely a spectacle, though, and we’re sure Chris hated every minute of it. Let’s talk about why, and what Marvel can do to keep his attention the next time around. And once we’re done with that, let’s find something relatively inconsequential to argue about, just to keep things interesting. Sound like a plan? Good.
More Punching, Please!
Once the infighting dies down, brother stop killing brothers, and all that, the Screeners decide to go back to talking about when the good guys decide to fight the bad guys for a change. This episode’s Top 3 is about our hosts’ favorite superhero fight scenes of all time. As usual, there are no criteria that qualifies something as being a “superhero fight scene”, or even a “superhero”; those are just words anyway, right; what good are they?
Maybe you’re thinking, “Wow; that Top 3 was a little too specific for me.” Well, it’s time to channel your inner Gandhi and be the change you wish to see in the world. Click over to our Facebook page and tell us what we should talk about next time.
Come to think of it, maybe you should suggest something for two episodes down the road—for the next episode, the Screeners are going to play a ranking game even more specific than an Oscar ballot. They’re going to attempt to rank the year’s top 10 box office earners released before that episode. The loser has to...listen to the winner gloat until they can think of a better punishment. See you then!